Saturday, March 23, 2013

I am feeling much better now.

Remember that line? It comes at a critical moment in The Sixth Sense after the young ghost throws up in Cole's tent. It's the first ghost Cole realizes is haunting him because she needs help.

So the post that I posted prior to this entry is something that I wrote more than 2 years ago. Obviously the experience was much too "fresh" to warrant posting at the time.

But I am feeling much better now. Time can heal that way.

Conversely to what I was feeling then, this past year has been one of the best years of my life. I started running again. I recruited a new running partner. I found that I needed both running and this friend because I really needed a friend, and this friend is exactly the friend I needed. I convinced her to run a half-marathon last fall (her first race ever). AND I got to sing with Willie Nelson at Farm Aid in September with my church choir. That was cool because 1. it is WILLIE FREAKING NELSON and 2. I had never been to Pennsylvania before.

Of course, not everything has been great. Life is not all giggles and thrills. It is "life" after all.

In fact, I almost started posting again last year at this time, but I had just found out that my oldest brother has cancer, and, well, I didn't feel like writing about that.

I am glad to report that after a bone marrow transplant and chemo, his cancer is in total remission. For now.

All that happened in a year? Hard to imagine. Especially since the two years prior to that were so crappy.

Did I mention that time heals? I am feeling much better now.

Mama always said...

...if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Hence the silence. It's been a healing silence. In fact, I feel so far removed from whatever happened over this last year that the initial shocking pain seems like it happened in a dream or to someone else and I only read about it.

Of course - you know me - I couldn't go through this experience (job loss, "homelessness", third cross country move in the span of 4 years) and not *learn* something from here is a recap:

1. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Actually, I didn't learn that. I just read it in a book recently - Hood by Steven Lawhead - a highly recommended read.

2. Don't ask someone in need "what can I do for you?" or "how are you doing?" Most likely, their world is shattered. It's safe to say it's a shit-fest. The best plan is to think about something you might need if you were in that situation, and then make a plan to fill that need for them.

3. If you live near that person, take them out to lunch or to a concert or to the park or go for a run with them. Heck - just call! They already feel isolated and lost. Any kind of personal connection is like throwing them a lifeline.

4. Don't say "I'm praying for you." It's not that they don't appreciate your spirituality. If they weren't in crisis, it might be more meaningful. Instead see #2 on the list and do that. Sure, they want and need the prayers - it's just that it rings hollow in the moment.