Friday, April 07, 2006

It tastes like chicken.

At my house, we are not vegetarians. We eat vegetables, but we are very much carnivorous too. I guess that makes us omnivores. Or eatatarians. We eat.

But I digress. I can't exactly recall how it all started, but over the course of raising four children (which, of course, I am still in the process of doing), I've developed some strategies to get my reluctant eaters to eat. One of those strategies has been to call what ever food it is by the name of a food they like. In short, I lie about the source of the food.

Most often, I've had to do this regarding meat sources as my children never really balked at eating vegetables. So, when serving steak, a child who was reluctant to eat it because it was a brown color heard, "What?! It's chicken. You like chicken. Eat it." And she complied.

Last night, I realized that I've completely muddled the minds of my little darlings. I was serving steak. My six year old questioned, "Mom, what kind of chicken is this?"

My reply? "Beef."

Sunday, April 02, 2006

April Fools

Did anyone pull any great April Fools pranks on Saturday? Just curious. I am not a fan of the April Fools thing, but I did accidentally pull a few pranks of my own. Are they really considered pranks if what was done was unintentional?

When I woke up Saturday morning - after spending eleven hours on my bum the day before - I was understandably anxious to get out and do something. I noticed an advertisement in the paper that read, "Fuschia and Geranium starters, two for a dollar." This is an annual special sale that a regional grocery/stuff market chain holds. The best part of the sale is that a person can bring his/her own planters, and the starts will be planted for free - with premium soil provided (also free).

Knowing that the fuschia/geranium Saturday can get pretty busy, even in a torrential downpour, I knew I had to get going quickly. So I rushed around to find empty planters. Of course I knocked over a few empty kerosene lanterns in the garden/lawn mower shed. The spill wouldn't have been as bad had one of the lanterns not sprung a leak. When I tried to remove it from the shed so that the kerosene didn't get near the gasoline, like a toddler boy going pee, some sprayed uncontrollably on my hands and sweater.

After I quickly changed my clothes and started a load of laundry (kerosene on favorite sweater = not good), I got back to the task at hand - the gathering of flower containers. Not wanting to lug around large pots at the store, I opted for the six or seven clay and plastic planters of manageable size (although there were a few people who had HUGE flower pots there - the one meter across size). Of course my planters all needed to be washed out, so I went at the scrubbing in the kitchen sink.

While I wildly scrubbed my pots - still in a hurry - Poetroad breaks my concentration with, "Hey, what's this in my coffee?" I knew in a glance what it was. Without hesitation I said, "It's dirt. April Fools!"

Yeah, it was all planned. Only next time I plan a joke like that, I think I'll skip the "spill the kerosene on favorite sweater" step.

In the end, I got my plants and my dirt and my plants planted. [Insert your own something pithy and Shakespearian here - I have to get back to work]

You knew this was coming...

Perhaps that's not the best choice of words. Anyway, a search.blogger for "Girl on Girl Pics" got my blog. What a huge disappointment. And if they went over to MLT, well, we all know that the evening didn't end in accidental touching, heavy breathing, and orgasmic screaming. All touch was deliberate (and ALL was touched). But there was pain involved, and, truthfully, I am just not into the S&M thing. If anything was learned by this experience (besides the details on how to give a good waxing), I now know that pain does not equate with pleasure in my Kama Sutra thesaurus.