Tuesday, August 30, 2011

craigslist fun

I love reading the craigslist ads - not because I need to buy anything...I just like to see what people sell and for how much. I like to think about responding to ads too. Here are a few random items for sale and the responses I imagine I'd like to send:

Postal Exam Guide - only 5 bucks.

"In regard to your Postal Exam guide, I'd like to know if it really works. No, I'm not really interested in actually taking the exam. I'd just like to be informed of your present anxiety level and whether or not you've been hired by a local post office yet."

Cold Dorm Fridge

"Too bad your fridge is cold. I was really looking for a warm one - something like a microwave..."

Kitchen Plastic

"I see that you are selling 18 PEZ dispensers with your food scale. Is this a package deal?"

Wooden Dummy

"A wooden dummy for only 500 bucks? I do have connections with strong fellows to move it. It looks intriguing - a log with three protruding phallic looking arms, but I am afraid I can't figure out what one would use it for. Looks like I'm the dummy!"

Beautiful Rooster Lamp

"That's an oxymoron."

And the prices they disclose that they originally paid...

"Dear Sir, why would *anyone* pay 1000 dollars for a coffee table that looks like it's a piece of plywood on a chintzy metal frame? I'm sorry that you think you'll unload that thing for 300 dollars. But I feel sorry for you...so would you consider 25?"

"Your entertainment center is lovely, but I can't believe you paid 3,000 dollars for it. Okay - I lied. It's ugly. You overpaid. You'll be lucky if you can give away that piece of crap. You'll probably have to pay someone to take it away. The great thing is you are getting this reality therapy free."

"There is no way in hell you bought that chaise lounge for 9,000 dollars. Is it made of gold? Did it belong to Elvis? Seriously. I wouldn't pay 9,000 dollars for anything unless it has wheels, an engine, and gets great gas mileage. If your chaise does that, you might just have yourself a buyer..."