Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Hard Worker

My kids are the encouraging sort. Each are quick to give well earned accolades - or to spur another on to reach that goal. Heck, even the clear looser gets a firm and hearty hand-shake.

As a matter of fact, I took the two oldest on a neighborhood trek the other day. While they stopped to play on the school playground, I continued my workout by jogging around the school track. Of course my jog is more like "falling forward while walking," but I was moving faster than a stroll. On the last lap of my mile, I picked up the pace and was attempting to sprint to the finish line. As I rounded the last corner - sucking wind, panting hard, moving barely faster than a slow jog - I could hear my darlings shout from the playground, "Way to go Mom! You can do it! Wow, you're doing really great!" Not wanting to disappoint my fans, I pushed my body to its limits all the way to the finish line.

Recently, however, I've been wondering if they are taking this encouragement thing too far. In the down-stairs bathroom right above the toilet paper dispenser I found a sticker that read, "Hard Worker." At first I thought it was just a random attempt to find a place to put a sticker. Now I'm not so sure.

I mean, yeah, we all need a little encouragement some time, but do we really need to pat a person on the back for having a successful bowel movement?

Speaking of Core

I just saw an ad for a new workout video called "Dance Core." No, it's not hard-core dancing where dancers jump up and down aimlessly, yet pummel each other with their appendages nonetheless. It's a new work out craze that focuses on - you guessed it - the "core" (aka "the power house"). See, I'm not the only one throwing around this terminology.

So, apparently, by wiggling your midsection furiously in an almost belly dancing fashion, you too can develop a firm core. Maybe you'll even wiggle your way into a six pack (they, of course, have a few testimonials from women and men who have done as much). Or you could just drink a six pack while watching men and women feverishly dance away the mid-section.

If professional ballroom dancers can dance away the flab, so can you. (Pay no attention to the very tiny fine print that explains, "the professionals that appear in this video have all been surgically altered, and some images may appear smaller on screen than in real life.")

Go ahead; dance your way to a tighter core.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Right now...

I am working on my "core." You know, my "power house." Those are two other words/phrases that make me giggle. The "core" or the "power house" are quite simply the abdominal muscles. It may even include other muscles. Is there a nutritionist in the house who can set us straight?

So as I sit here typing and grading papers, I am sitting up straight with gut pulled in. Even if the skin around my abs is amazingly flabby, I can feel the strength building in my core. I might just grow up to be a super hero.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

What's up with that attitude?

Speaking of yesterday, I'm over it. I forgive you, body. It's not your fault.

Today I am taking a break from exercising. Well, strenuously exercising that is. We may take a walk later.

This week has been a bit like living as a cave dweller - hiding in a hole due to the unseasonably cool temps and excessive rain. I did jog in the rain yesterday, though, and that was actually fun. I would have really enjoyed myself had it not been for the, well, painful jogging part. You know, the legs straining, heavy breathing, heart pumping kind of hurting. If I want those effects, I don't want it to be from running. But the rain on my brow was nice. Keeping my mind on being sure footed actually kept my mind off of all else for a bit.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Fitness for Fats...

or "Fatness for Life." That's what we used to call the required college PE course that was really entitled "Fitness for Life." The required PE course, I guess, was the college's attempt to rid itself of the nickname, Big Women's College. But that plan never really worked out, and they simply added a few masters degree programs so that the name of the college could be changed, thereby avoiding the whole fatness issue altogether.

Seriously, though, about five weeks ago I embarked on a new exercise/diet lifestyle journey - a routine that was inspired by that class I took all those years ago. Back then, we were required to run three miles, four times per week. Not only that, in order to earn an "A" in the class, a person had to be able to run a particular three mile cross country course under 20 minutes.

So I began running three times a week - only now it takes me 20 minutes to run two miles. Then a few weeks into the routine, needing to mix it up a little, I started going to a cycling class (aka spinning) and a pilates class two times a week (that is, I do both back to back two times per week). On the off days, I walk or jog two to three miles. At first I was exercising like this three to four times a week, but starting this week I'm a five times a week girl.

As for the diet changes, I've cut out junk food and have limited my calories to between 1400-1600 per day.

Weight loss to date = 0

Am I feeling better and looking more trim and toned? Am I probably gaining muscle, so the weight loss doesn't register yet?

What the heck do I care about that when the poundage isn't melting off like fat dripping from a skewered pig hung rotisserie-style and spinning over hot coals?! I want results! Results I can measure on a scale!

Obviously, I need to lower my BID (Body Image Dissatisfaction) rate. Or I need a TRC (Total Reality Check).

Women, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we have unrealistic expectations of our bodies? I would say that I am retarded to expect my body to remember its pre-child-bearing shape, but it's not p.c. to say retarded anymore.

Anyway, both the spinning and pilates classes are fun. I hate every minute of each. Seriously, every day before class I say to myself, "I don't want to go to class today. I'm gonna work too hard because I am too darn competitive." But I go anyway. And I love hating every minute of those classes too because I know darn well that had I been actually riding a bike up steep hills, for example, I would get off and walk. A couple of times in class I was tempted to do just that.

So, I will continue down the current fitness path regardless of the little to no results phase. If I'm going to be pushing MLD anyway, however, I think I'll start eating more chocolate.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Also Only Mostly Dead

Okay, I really need to get back into the swing of things as far as blogging is concerned. Things are fine, but the end of the year is always hectic for me - particularly when I have to deal with high school seniors attempting to graduate. Plus, I taught that college class this semester (that turned out fine, btw; only one F). So I'm jumping on the survey train; enjoy reading every mind-numbing bit of it.
  • Cried: No
  • Worn jeans: No
  • Met someone: Yes
  • Kissed someone: Yes - five people several times
  • Said I love you: Yes, lots and lots


  • Do you ever wish you had another name? In first through third grade, I wished that I had a nick-name because I thought nick-names were cool. I attempted to get people to call me by certain names, but no nick-name really worked out.
  • Do you like anyone? I like most people.
  • Which one of your friends acts the most like you? My daughters act a lot like me, but most of my friends have personalities that complement mine rather mimic mine. Although CLA and I often act alike a lot...
  • Who's the loudest? LE
  • Who's the shyest? CW
  • Who's the weirdest? LF
  • Who do you hang out with the most? Poetroad and my kids, but I chat with CLA the most, hang out with LF, and I exchange e-mails the most with CW.
  • When you cried the most who was there? Poetroad
  • What's the best feeling in the world? Helping someone accomplish something, holding a newborn baby right out of the womb, holding hands with Poetroad as we are driving down the road and the kids are laughing in the back seat, and a few others that I won't describe here....
  • Worst Feeling? Knowing that I've disappointed someone, being disappointed, despair, helplessness, flu symptoms


  • Let's walk on the: wild side.
  • Let's look at: the bright side.
  • What a nice: thing to say.
  • When will they: ever learn?
  • How is: the weather over there, Grandma?
  • Why: are you still reading this?
  • Show me: how to gut this fish.
  • The house is: quiet.
  • Tell me: about you.
  • Love me: forever.


  • Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
  • Coke or Pepsi: Diet Coke
  • Girls or Guys: Depends on the situation
  • Scruff or Clean shaved: Depends on the situation
  • Blondes or Brunettes: both


  • What do you notice first: Smile and teeth (particularly whether or not brushing is a regular habit)


  • Showered: this morning
  • Stepped outside: an hour ago (I spent most of the evening outside)
  • Cried: a few weeks ago
  • Had a romantic memory: I think of those all the time


  • Makes you smile: All my friends and loved ones make me smile
  • Who can make you smile no matter what? CLA
  • Has a crush on you: No one that I know of


  • Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call: Hardly ever, but sometimes when Poetroad is out of town I wait for him to call
  • Do you save AIM conversations: No
  • Forward secret E-mails: I don't get secret e-mails
  • Wish you were someone else: no
  • Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: no way
  • Wear perfume/cologne? Yes
  • Go online for longer than eight hours at a time: Only when I am grading papers.


  • Made out with JUST a friend? No
  • Kissed two people in the same day? Two different guys? No.
  • Done it in a car? While driving down I-35...
  • Cheated on someone? No
  • Been cheated on? Yes
  • Done something you regret? Yes


  • You saw? JG
  • You talked to? JG
  • You hugged? JG
  • You instant messaged? That has been so long ago that I can't remember.
  • You yelled at? Champ
  • You thought about? Poetroad
  • Who text messaged you? CLA, and that was also a long time ago
  • Who told you they loved you? JG


  • Color your hair? Highlights
  • Have tattoos? No
  • Have piercings? Yes, three in one ear, one in the other, and one in a nostril
  • Have a crush? I have a long-standing Crush on Larry Mullen Jr. (going on 21 years)
  • Own a webcam? Yes
  • Own more than 10 pairs of flip flops? No, but that is my favored footwear
  • Like someone? I like people in general
  • Hate someone? No way - I don't have the time and energy to do that, although there are a few people that I've disliked a lot for short periods of time - but I got over it.


  • Smoke? I am not smoke.
  • Schizophrenic? No, I am notyesyouarenoImnotyesyouare
  • Obsessive? Definitely


  • Kissed your dog: Yes
  • Ran away: In my mind
  • Skipped school: Lots - sometimes I was the teacher
  • Broken someone's heart: Several, but not intentionally
  • Been in love: I am right now
  • Cried when someone died: Yes
  • Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: Well, I thought I couldn't have him at first, but it turns out I could. So I married him.
  • Done something embarrassing: Every day
  • Cried in school: Yes, and once I was the teacher.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Nine out of Ten

I'm not married to "Man o' the 80s" for nothing.

Complete the 80s lyrics!

I got 90%.. click here to take the test.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Bird Flu Hits Florida!

Hey, is that at Great Aunt Edith's house?