Tuesday, August 15, 2006

What am I really avoiding?

The truth is that I have come to some realizations about me that are difficult for me to accept or understand. So I am hiding from my self. That means I am avoiding talk about anything "real" or personal. I do have some other "real" writing that needs to be written - a few stories. But I think I fear success. Isn't that crazy?

Yesterday, I had a serious blow to my self-esteem. I want to crawl in a hole. But life goes on.

Yes, curriculum. I have a week to get my stuff together. Teaching will be a nice diversion from my self.


Mimi said...

You are still plenty cool, even if your self-esteem is broken a little.

bluesugarpoet said...

Thank you for the kind words, mimi. And my self-esteem is broken only a little. Just a tich.

Actually, that whole experience was a good thing even though it reminded me a bit of what I hated about high school. Overall, I found the experience to be cathartic, and it was a great test to see where I would turn in a crisis.