Saturday, March 23, 2013

Mama always said...

...if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Hence the silence. It's been a healing silence. In fact, I feel so far removed from whatever happened over this last year that the initial shocking pain seems like it happened in a dream or to someone else and I only read about it.

Of course - you know me - I couldn't go through this experience (job loss, "homelessness", third cross country move in the span of 4 years) and not *learn* something from here is a recap:

1. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Actually, I didn't learn that. I just read it in a book recently - Hood by Steven Lawhead - a highly recommended read.

2. Don't ask someone in need "what can I do for you?" or "how are you doing?" Most likely, their world is shattered. It's safe to say it's a shit-fest. The best plan is to think about something you might need if you were in that situation, and then make a plan to fill that need for them.

3. If you live near that person, take them out to lunch or to a concert or to the park or go for a run with them. Heck - just call! They already feel isolated and lost. Any kind of personal connection is like throwing them a lifeline.

4. Don't say "I'm praying for you." It's not that they don't appreciate your spirituality. If they weren't in crisis, it might be more meaningful. Instead see #2 on the list and do that. Sure, they want and need the prayers - it's just that it rings hollow in the moment.

No comments: