Sunday, October 02, 2005

Without a second to spare

This week, I employed a new “pick” strategy. Instead of relying on woman’s intuition this week, I’m relying on intuition of the canine sort; after all, Champion (my dog) should know a fellow Champion when he smells one.

It took me a while to figure out how exactly I would get Champ’s full cooperation (at almost six months old, he is still a wiggly and excitable Springer Spaniel puppy). In the end, I have to say that I’m fairly pleased with the results. Here’s how I ran the experiment, ehm, picks:

I found these very old-school coasters (you know, the kind with cork backing that drinks are placed on in order to avoid that ugly water stain on the furniture). Just my luck, there was a coaster for each team. Sans the assistance of meat spray or cheese rubbings, I tossed out the two coasters simultaneously. The coaster Champ retrieved indicated the winning team for the week.

Buffalo vs. New Orleans – I don’t know what it is about the Bills Champ likes; lord knows their mascot is weak. Maybe he was getting a bad vibe from the hurricane victim team. BILLS

San Diego (+5.5) @ New England – Either it’s the colors he finds aversive or my dog secretly swings a little to the left. Champ just doesn’t like the Patriots. CHARGERS

Seattle (+2) @ Washington – I was a little worried when Champ first picked up the Skins coaster at first. As luck would have it, he took the coaster to his favorite pooping spot, took a dump, and then proceeded to fetch the Seahawk coaster. SEAHAWKS

St. Louis (+3) @ New York Giants – Is this a trend? Champ is either against the east coast teams or he doesn’t like patriotic colors (why aren’t the Giants green? Aren’t giants green? Or am I thinking of ogres? Now that would be a scary mascot – the Ogres.) Champ likes the RAMS.

Denver (+4) @ Jacksonville - Another sweaty moment at our household. As you know, Denver is the house team. There was speculation that Champ would prefer Jacksonville, but after a moment’s hesitation, Champ knew to pick the team of the Alpha male. BRONCOS

Detroit (+7) @ Tampa Bay – I have to admit that my dog is still a little bit nervous, and that may be why he went against the lion and chose the BUCS.

Houston (+10) @ Cincinnati – What do I know? He doesn’t like lions, but Champ favors the BENGALS.

Indianapolis (-6.5) @ Tennessee – There is something non-threatening about a nice horse that Champ loves – this may be why he was for the Broncos too. COLTS

NY Jets (+7.5) @ Baltimore – Awwwww – bucking the “against the East” trend, Champ was all over the JETS.

Dallas (+3) @ Oakland – Get along little doggies? Apparently this dog is not the herding sort. Champ loves the RAIDERS.

Minnesota (+5.5) @ Atlanta – The Atlanta coaster was looking a little scary to me, but apparently it had the right smell. FALCONS

Philly (+2.5) @ Kansas City – Do I detect a bird trend? Well, Champ is a bird dog. EAGLES

San Fran (+3) vs. Arizona - Sorry Cards, a little red bird is not the kind my dog likes to fetch. 49ERS

Green Bay (+7) @ Carolina – I don’t like the PACKERS – not one little bit. But Champ loves them. Could it be that he could smell the cheese heads on the other side of the country? PACKERS

There they are. Let’s hope Champ’s intuition fares better than mine.


Gracie said...

the SF game is just getting started but Champ is 6-6 up to this point. i sucked today and even if come out ok on the next two games - i will at best finish 6-8 at worst 4-10.

bluesugarpoet said...

Rats! Now I'm 6-7!