Saturday, February 07, 2009

A poem i'm working on

Not sure what to call it yet...


glassy eyed we wander
through endless isles of solitude
greeting cards, post its, lamps
nothing in the cart but randomness
through veiled despair
we linger at the precipice
of the 1000 count sheet set that we pretend to admire

13 comments:

W┼Źden said...

I liked this line

"we linger at the precipice .. ."

thoughtful

~~~~~

Karen said...

I see myself and countless others in this, although I wish it weren't so.

I like the juxtaposition of the mundane "greeting cards, post its, lamps" with the deep "veiled despair...at the precipice."

By the way, titles are a pain!

bluesugarpoet said...

glad you liked that line, Woden - and thanks for dropping by an commenting here. :)

yes, Karen, I think if we are honest with ourselves, we have all been in that place some time or another over the course of a life. I wrote this a week ago, but something that a friend said to me yesterday about people seeming more bleak than usual lately made me think that this poem might strike a chord with more than just women or mothers.

glad you saw that juxtaposition. :)

pjd said...

I think it should be called

I Kea, U Kea, We All Kea

No, not really.

Have you seen the Veggie Tales with Madame Blueberry and the Stuff*Mart? Stuff*Mart is awesome.

Nice poem. It reminds me of the Talking Heads song "Once in a Lifetime." This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife! Well... how did I get here?

What I'm wondering as I read this is who the "we" is. Is it a specific "we" or the generic "we" of humanity? I can read it either way, but it's a very different tone depending on which way I read it.

bluesugarpoet said...

"I'm so bluuue, bluuue, bluuuue!"

Of course I know Madame Blueberry. :)

Talking Heads - love that song. Love the video (remember when they used to show videos on MTV?).

"We" originally meant "those who wander through the store at night looking comatose." It's what moms do after we put the kids to bed. We wander the store aimlessly looking at stuff, but we aren't there to shop because we need anything. We shop so we can get away for a few seconds. Or we act like we are shopping. It's the alternative to a gin and tonic. Or it's the pre-drink exercise.

But the "we" could also mean "me, myself, and I" or "me and my simulacrum."

And the "we" could be the "we" of humanity if taken in a William Carlos Williams kind of way.

pjd said...

But see how it takes even a different tone if "we" means "me and my husband"? (I can say that since I know you're married. And, since this is California and you were here pre-Prop 8, I know you're married to a man.)

I do think that the "we" is a variable here that, when supplied with a value, changes the tone or image of the poem in a subtle way. And that's perhaps what I like best about it.

And yes, I remember MTV when it played music videos. My mom had cable the summer it was launched. Squeeze's "Tempted" and some generic song by a group called "Haircut 100" were played almost constantly. I think Flock of Seagulls was on that year, too. Not right away but maybe the next year Duran Duran had "Hungry Like the Wolf" which was pretty cool for an adolescent male.

bluesugarpoet said...

Oh, you mean this video?

pjd said...

Ha ha ha! Usually I'm the one finding the obscure YouTube video and posting it in the comments. Ha ha! Yes, that one. What did people do before the internet?

iron girl traveling said...

Slowly figuring out the blogging world, thx for your guidance. Enjoy followin your thots both in blog form and on the trails!!

Jane D. said...

Every single time I walk into Bed Bath & Beyond or IKEA I hear in my head "Stuff Maaaart!"

Maria said...

I really like your poem. This week I'm trying to write a poem too, but am not getting very far. Part of the problem is finding a meaningful subject.

So, question about your poem -- does it have more to do with being overwhelmed at the tasks of being a mother (everyone needing you all the time...) and just wanting a break sometimes or the "loneliness" of motherhood? (That probably doesn't make any sense and I'm probably projecting since at the moment I'd really like to be working, and find motherhood sometimes a bit lonely.)

christine said...

oh this is wonderful... pure distraction

bluesugarpoet said...

Thanks, Christine. :)

Maria - I imagine that many of these wanderers are mothers - being a mom is, of course, rewarding, but it is also very taxing. For one, you aren't ever alone. For at least ten years I don't think i went to the bathroom or took a shower - or did anything personal - without also simultaneously holding a conversation with a kid. But I've noticed a few guys wandering around looking glassy eyed at Stuff mart late at night too...