Monday, March 02, 2009

UTI, TMI

When I woke up this morning, I knew immediately that I was ill. And in pain. And that this illness would require a doctor visit and antibiotics. Not a big deal - just a little urinary tract infection (which I realize will be TMI for some readers here, but I promise that there is a point in me telling you all this little detail...).

Someone in line casually asked me if my illness was going around.

"No." "As far as I know, urinary tract infections are not contagious," I wanted to add.

To be fair, I'm sure that person meant no ill will (most likely...). Nevertheless, the inquiry began a brief and awkward discussion of me telling the truth yet allowing the other person to believe something completely different.

Feeling embarrassed, I disengaged from the conversation as quickly as I could and instead became engrossed with hair driers - as if I were carefully studying each particular model with the scrutiny a scientist might study a Petri dish for positive signs of bacteria growth.

Eventually, I picked up my prescription and got the heck out of there.

Next time I find myself in that situation, I will be better prepared with my response. Here is the list so far of possible "reasons" [all fake, I assure you] for my future pharmacy visits:

1. Gonorrhea flare up.
2. Picking up husband's Viagra prescription.
3. Picking up MY Viagra prescription.
4. Bleeding hemorrhoids.
5. Picking up my methadone because, you know, I'm trying to shake that dirty heroin habit.

9 comments:

Aerin said...

Hey darlin' - not exactly the same, but my sister has twins, and when someone asks if they're twins, she responds with the line I came up with: "There are TWO? I just thought I was seeing things because of the booze!"

Karen said...

You are so funny! I hope you feel better -- no fun, that.

bluesugarpoet said...

Hilarious, Aerin! Clever comeback for sure.

Thanks, Karen! I always feel better after the second dose of antibiotics (which I am going to swallow directly).

Faith said...

Hope you are feeling better. I hate waiting in line in the pharmacy with nosy people around! Your posts are a hoot to read:)

Jane D. said...

That reminds of one of my first trips to the pharmacy in this town, where I knew no one. You know when you have those moments when you think something and then wonder, "Did I just say that out loud?" I had one of those moments. As the pharmacist said handed me my drugs, I said, "I don't know why I bother, it's not like I ever have sex." Talk about TMI. That poor man.

bluesugarpoet said...

Thanks, Faith! Glad I amuse someone else as much as I amuse myself. :)

Jane - that story made me laugh until I cried (actually, both Poetroad and i were practically falling off the couch with laughter)

Catvibe said...

I laughed very hard. :-)

Ello said...

uti's suck big time. I hope you feel better soon.

Next time you should fall to the ground and fake an epileptic fit and blame them for triggering it. he he.

bluesugarpoet said...

Glad you laughed, Cat. ;)

great idea, Ello. I like the way you think!:)