You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

What am I really avoiding?

The truth is that I have come to some realizations about me that are difficult for me to accept or understand. So I am hiding from my self. That means I am avoiding talk about anything "real" or personal. I do have some other "real" writing that needs to be written - a few stories. But I think I fear success. Isn't that crazy?

Yesterday, I had a serious blow to my self-esteem. I want to crawl in a hole. But life goes on.

Yes, curriculum. I have a week to get my stuff together. Teaching will be a nice diversion from my self.

Avoiding "real" writing

You Are a Little Scary

You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.

How Scary Are You?

Let's hear it for the rejects!

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

If I can't live in Hawaii, I'll go for the runner-up

American Cities That Best Fit You::

75% Honolulu

70% Austin

65% Miami

65% Portland

60% Denver

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Weird - this is one of my favorite colors

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you. Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible. While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks. Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

Like-Minded

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

IMPORTANT SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS

7. "Never use while sleeping."

I usually don't read the "IMPORTANT SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS" before I use a product, but for some reason I decided to check out the list of 15 safety instructions for my new hand held hair dryer.

"Never use while sleeping?" Did someone need to be TOLD that? You've got to know that someone must have actually done this - why else would it make on the golden 15 list?

Seriously, think about a possible scenario that brought about the lawsuit and prompted Conair to add this important warning to the safety instruction list. A person is so exhausted that he or she thinks, "Hey, I can't stay awake long enough to dry my hair, but I can just turn the hair dryer on, lay next to it on the bed here, and get a nap in. Then when I wake up, my hair will be dry!" Is that what happened?!

If your hair is so long that you might be tempted to try "sleep drying," then think about getting one of those short and sassy hair cuts. Too exhausted? Wrap your head in a towel. Better yet, shave your head and go the wig route.

Where do I begin?

Summer - so much drama, so little time. To lessen the crap-ability factor, think of my family interactions as being episodes of a sick and twisted reality TV show, only no David Hasslehoff.

Sunday, June 11

My mom’s step-dad, the only Grandpa from that side of the family that I’ve known growing up, turned 80. Grandpa Ray’s health has not been great up to this point (he has suffered from emphysema and battled pneumonia constantly), so making it to 80 was a big deal; he told my grandma that he always hoped to live long enough to see his 80th birthday.

To celebrate, we had a party over at my aunt and uncle’s house at the coast. They live in a three-story spread on 15 acres of land tucked in the back woods of the central Oregon Coast, so the venue was perfect.

I made a cool card for Grandpa – a litte scrapbook of sorts of my family at the beach. In the card, I wrote about the great memories I’ve had of spending time at the coast with my grandma and grandpa beach combing, digging for clams, and exploring the woods in an acre of land that my grandpa half-logged near their house over there. My children and husband have been fortunate to enjoy that legacy too.

Visiting with family that day was surprisingly pleasant, although Grandpa Ray never made it to the party. He wasn’t feeling well. My mom and dad stayed with him and tried to get him to eat some broth. They didn’t want him to be alone, particularly on his birthday.

After enjoying several hours of pleasant conversation with cousins and aunts and extended family and knowing for sure that Grandpa Ray wouldn’t be attending his party, Poetroad and I decided that we should head home. But as we were gathering our troups to head back to the valley, my sister-in-law “Floralei,” my oldest brother’s Cuban wife, cornered me. “I gave some clothes to your mother to give to “Flora” [my other brother’s wife – yes, my brothers married women with similar names, oddly enough], but Flora never got them.“

She then proceeded to rattle off an inventory of items that were in this particular bag of hand-me-downs. All very nice clothes, she reminded me, from Nordstrom, the Gap, and other botique-ey type stores. She wanted to know if I had them, as the package never found its way to Flora’s hands.

“Oh yeah, I do have the green pants and the striped hoodie,” I replied casually.

Then I got the loud and stern lecture – in front of my entire extended family – about how those clothes were to be given to Flora’s daughter, and how she divided them evenly between my four-year old and my neice, how she told my mom specifically what was supposed to go to who, and that those clothes were not meant for my daughter. Basically, Floralei was making it clear that she thought I was a greedy theif.

Trying to calm the mood, I reasoned in low tones, “It’s no big deal Floralei. I’ll make sure she gets the two items I have. But I don’t have the rest of the stuff.”

She raised her voice louder, and then more venomously retorted, “It is a big deal! I asked your daughter which things she liked, and the rest of the clothes were not meant for you to take. I divided the items equally - [again with the invetory of items in this other bag of clothes] were meant for Flora’s daughter.”

I understood what she was saying perfectly, but more pressing was my intense need to crawl under the nearest shrub. So I didn’t explain that my daughter got wet at my parent’s house one day and was in need of some dry clothing temporarily.

Instead, I replied, “Okay. I’ll make sure Flora get’s the two items I have.”

And then we left.

Monday, June 12

Grandpa Ray had a heartattack in the middle of the night. Grandma was worried that he would be angry with her because she called the ambulance. He didn’t want to live the rest of his life being hooked up to life support.


More of the continuing saga tomorrow...

Desire

Yes, the cheesecake scam is indeed brilliant. In order to combat any attempts to build up my ass-flab rather than my muscles, I took the decadent chocolate cheesecake over to my parent’s house. There, we had a picnic, I took the kids for a walk up the creek, and then I ate my slice. It tasted divine. So rich and creamy it was that I had to put a dollop of Coolwhip on top in order to soften the bite of the sweetness.

And I left the darned thing there in their freezer, too. Poetroad – with an almost painful look on his face – implored, “What did you do that for!?”

At that moment I knew for sure that the power of the cheesecake was strong, stronger than I had anticipated.

“If we take the cheesecake home,” I reasoned, “then I will eat it all for sure. This way it’s a good 15 minute drive away from us.”

Hopefully the distance will put a damper on desire.

I am a big Winner.

I love the group dynamic of the various exercise classes I am a part of at the local “club.” In particular, because of peer pressure, I tend to work out harder when I exercise with a group of people than if I were to work out on my own. And there is also the added bonus of having a leader that has a work out plan all figured out so that I don’t have to think about what to do next.

Today, I tried out a new cycling class (my regular class is on Tuesdays and Thursdays), and, wow, talk about some kind of dynamic going on there. As we are biking our buns off, the instructor yells out music trivia questions (who sings this song, what movie was this song in, what year was this song written, etc.). You’ll never guess what I won from guessing a “softball” trivia question (Joe Jackson sang “Steppin' Out” – easy 80s music trivia, people)…I won a chocolate cheesecake. No, seriously. I won a whole chocolate cheesecake.

Apparently, this instructor bakes 5 or 8 of these cheesecakes in a week, and freezes them. On Fridays, people can win a cheesecake in class.

I don’t know about you, but the winning the cheesecake thing is kind of counter-productive to my whole weight loss plan. If I want to drop a few pounds, I don’t think chocolate cheesecake is really an option on my menu.

If I cut out a few meals, however, maybe I can eat a tiny slice…

School Recap

Yes, school is “out.” It has taken me a few days to recoup from the stress of trying to take care of my family and wrap up my classes over the last few weeks too. And since I’m sure you all (all three of you) are dying to know how things went, here’s the poop:

The college course: If you recall, things were a bit rocky for a while with the College Writing II crew. First, there was the dreadful “they don’t get it” shtick. After re-grouping and re-teaching “how to write a paragraph and incorporate borrowed material,” things seemed to go more smoothly.

Then, there was the whole “cheating” incident. You remember - that strange student who totally borrowed his paper from various Wikipedia pages (and from a site where comfortable beds are sold). That ended well, as the student never returned to class to face the consequences.

Finally, (and this is the new-to-you dish) there were the “mixed reviews” I earned from the end-of-the-year student evaluation process. A total of five students (of the 20 that completed the course) reviewed my teaching skills, and I think my overall average was a strong “C+.” Unfortunately, another adjunct was teaching the same class at the same time in another room, so our mixed reviews were mixed up. How do I know? Well, several of the comments penned by the anonymous reviewers referred to the other teacher, “Mrs. Smith,” by name. Consequently, the registrar mixed up the reviews, and I inadvertently saw the reviews for both sections (so much for confidentiality). Let me tell you – I was just glad that I didn’t get some of the reviews that Mrs. Smith got. Let’s just say that the comments directed to her were less than nice (better than barfing orange juice, but worse than eating worms). At least my students (if in fact any of the students reviewing my class were actually my students) had the sense to direct their evilness at me by without using my name. The head of the department seemed to think that my reviews were really positive (wow – I’d hate to see what these kids say about their other teachers). I laughed at that, and asked him, “I’m sorry, but did we read the same reviews?” He was quick to point out that “We tend to assume that the students who were satisfied with the class didn’t review your performance, but those who felt disgruntled did.”

All in all, I made many mistakes in teaching that college writing class, and I will be sure to adjust my approach next time around in order to avoid the same pitfalls.

The online school: At the other end of the teaching spectrum, the online school end of the year went well. Although I graded papers for 80+ hours in the span of two weeks (yes, that is about 40 hours of overtime work there), the students I had this year seemed to really learn something from the curriculum and my mentorship. And, I had more “thank yous” from students and parents this year than ever before – which is always nice.

Hopefully, I’ll get re-connected with my blog buddies this summer. Maybe I’ll even write something that will be worth your time to read.

Oh, that is sad

As you may have guessed, I've been a bit preoccupied with grading the last few weeks. Bleck! It's the most un-fun part of my job. It's what I do the most of, however. Grade papers, that is.

So the last time I posted was May 31. That means that every minute I've spent on the computer over the last two weeks was, basically, ahhhhh. Not thinking about it. Avoid. Denial.

It's as if I just woke up from a two week drunken binge. Time went by, and I don't really know what happened. I'm waking up, and it's JUNE.

Very sad, people. Now I have to figure out a way to make it up to Poetroad. He's awesome. What would I do without him?

Hard Worker

My kids are the encouraging sort. Each are quick to give well earned accolades - or to spur another on to reach that goal. Heck, even the clear looser gets a firm and hearty hand-shake.

As a matter of fact, I took the two oldest on a neighborhood trek the other day. While they stopped to play on the school playground, I continued my workout by jogging around the school track. Of course my jog is more like "falling forward while walking," but I was moving faster than a stroll. On the last lap of my mile, I picked up the pace and was attempting to sprint to the finish line. As I rounded the last corner - sucking wind, panting hard, moving barely faster than a slow jog - I could hear my darlings shout from the playground, "Way to go Mom! You can do it! Wow, you're doing really great!" Not wanting to disappoint my fans, I pushed my body to its limits all the way to the finish line.

Recently, however, I've been wondering if they are taking this encouragement thing too far. In the down-stairs bathroom right above the toilet paper dispenser I found a sticker that read, "Hard Worker." At first I thought it was just a random attempt to find a place to put a sticker. Now I'm not so sure.

I mean, yeah, we all need a little encouragement some time, but do we really need to pat a person on the back for having a successful bowel movement?

Speaking of Core

I just saw an ad for a new workout video called "Dance Core." No, it's not hard-core dancing where dancers jump up and down aimlessly, yet pummel each other with their appendages nonetheless. It's a new work out craze that focuses on - you guessed it - the "core" (aka "the power house"). See, I'm not the only one throwing around this terminology.

So, apparently, by wiggling your midsection furiously in an almost belly dancing fashion, you too can develop a firm core. Maybe you'll even wiggle your way into a six pack (they, of course, have a few testimonials from women and men who have done as much). Or you could just drink a six pack while watching men and women feverishly dance away the mid-section.

If professional ballroom dancers can dance away the flab, so can you. (Pay no attention to the very tiny fine print that explains, "the professionals that appear in this video have all been surgically altered, and some images may appear smaller on screen than in real life.")

Go ahead; dance your way to a tighter core.

Right now...

I am working on my "core." You know, my "power house." Those are two other words/phrases that make me giggle. The "core" or the "power house" are quite simply the abdominal muscles. It may even include other muscles. Is there a nutritionist in the house who can set us straight?

So as I sit here typing and grading papers, I am sitting up straight with gut pulled in. Even if the skin around my abs is amazingly flabby, I can feel the strength building in my core. I might just grow up to be a super hero.

What's up with that attitude?

Speaking of yesterday, I'm over it. I forgive you, body. It's not your fault.

Today I am taking a break from exercising. Well, strenuously exercising that is. We may take a walk later.

This week has been a bit like living as a cave dweller - hiding in a hole due to the unseasonably cool temps and excessive rain. I did jog in the rain yesterday, though, and that was actually fun. I would have really enjoyed myself had it not been for the, well, painful jogging part. You know, the legs straining, heavy breathing, heart pumping kind of hurting. If I want those effects, I don't want it to be from running. But the rain on my brow was nice. Keeping my mind on being sure footed actually kept my mind off of all else for a bit.

Fitness for Fats...

or "Fatness for Life." That's what we used to call the required college PE course that was really entitled "Fitness for Life." The required PE course, I guess, was the college's attempt to rid itself of the nickname, Big Women's College. But that plan never really worked out, and they simply added a few masters degree programs so that the name of the college could be changed, thereby avoiding the whole fatness issue altogether.

Seriously, though, about five weeks ago I embarked on a new exercise/diet lifestyle journey - a routine that was inspired by that class I took all those years ago. Back then, we were required to run three miles, four times per week. Not only that, in order to earn an "A" in the class, a person had to be able to run a particular three mile cross country course under 20 minutes.

So I began running three times a week - only now it takes me 20 minutes to run two miles. Then a few weeks into the routine, needing to mix it up a little, I started going to a cycling class (aka spinning) and a pilates class two times a week (that is, I do both back to back two times per week). On the off days, I walk or jog two to three miles. At first I was exercising like this three to four times a week, but starting this week I'm a five times a week girl.

As for the diet changes, I've cut out junk food and have limited my calories to between 1400-1600 per day.

Weight loss to date = 0

Am I feeling better and looking more trim and toned? Am I probably gaining muscle, so the weight loss doesn't register yet?

What the heck do I care about that when the poundage isn't melting off like fat dripping from a skewered pig hung rotisserie-style and spinning over hot coals?! I want results! Results I can measure on a scale!

Obviously, I need to lower my BID (Body Image Dissatisfaction) rate. Or I need a TRC (Total Reality Check).

Women, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we have unrealistic expectations of our bodies? I would say that I am retarded to expect my body to remember its pre-child-bearing shape, but it's not p.c. to say retarded anymore.

Anyway, both the spinning and pilates classes are fun. I hate every minute of each. Seriously, every day before class I say to myself, "I don't want to go to class today. I'm gonna work too hard because I am too darn competitive." But I go anyway. And I love hating every minute of those classes too because I know darn well that had I been actually riding a bike up steep hills, for example, I would get off and walk. A couple of times in class I was tempted to do just that.

So, I will continue down the current fitness path regardless of the little to no results phase. If I'm going to be pushing MLD anyway, however, I think I'll start eating more chocolate.

Also Only Mostly Dead

Okay, I really need to get back into the swing of things as far as blogging is concerned. Things are fine, but the end of the year is always hectic for me - particularly when I have to deal with high school seniors attempting to graduate. Plus, I taught that college class this semester (that turned out fine, btw; only one F). So I'm jumping on the survey train; enjoy reading every mind-numbing bit of it.

IN THE PAST 24HRS HAVE YOU

• Cried: No
• Worn jeans: No
• Met someone: Yes
• Kissed someone: Yes - five people several times
• Said I love you: Yes, lots and lots
  

FRIENDS AND LIFE

• Do you ever wish you had another name? In first through third grade, I wished that I had a nick-name because I thought nick-names were cool. I attempted to get people to call me by certain names, but no nick-name really worked out.
• Do you like anyone? I like most people.
• Which one of your friends acts the most like you? My daughters act a lot like me, but most of my friends have personalities that complement mine rather mimic mine. Although CLA and I often act alike a lot...
• Who's the loudest? LE
• Who's the shyest? CW
• Who's the weirdest? LF
• Who do you hang out with the most? Poetroad and my kids, but I chat with CLA the most, hang out with LF, and I exchange e-mails the most with CW.
• When you cried the most who was there? Poetroad
• What's the best feeling in the world? Helping someone accomplish something, holding a newborn baby right out of the womb, holding hands with Poetroad as we are driving down the road and the kids are laughing in the back seat, and a few others that I won't describe here....
• Worst Feeling? Knowing that I've disappointed someone, being disappointed, despair, helplessness, flu symptoms
  

FINISH EACH SENTENCE:

• Let's walk on the: wild side.
• Let's look at: the bright side.
• What a nice: thing to say.
• When will they: ever learn?
• How is: the weather over there, Grandma?
• Why: are you still reading this?
• Show me: how to gut this fish.
• The house is: quiet.
• Tell me: about you.
• Love me: forever.

WHICH IS BETTER

• Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
• Coke or Pepsi: Diet Coke
• Girls or Guys: Depends on the situation
• Scruff or Clean shaved: Depends on the situation
• Blondes or Brunettes: both

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX

• What do you notice first: Smile and teeth (particularly whether or not brushing is a regular habit)

THE LAST TIME YOU...

• Showered: this morning
• Stepped outside: an hour ago (I spent most of the evening outside)
• Cried: a few weeks ago
• Had a romantic memory: I think of those all the time
  

WHO

• Makes you smile: All my friends and loved ones make me smile
• Who can make you smile no matter what? CLA
• Has a crush on you: No one that I know of

DO YOU EVER...

• Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call: Hardly ever, but sometimes when Poetroad is out of town I wait for him to call
• Do you save AIM conversations: No
• Forward secret E-mails: I don't get secret e-mails
• Wish you were someone else: no
• Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: no way
• Wear perfume/cologne? Yes
• Go online for longer than eight hours at a time: Only when I am grading papers.
  

HAVE YOU EVER

• Made out with JUST a friend? No
• Kissed two people in the same day? Two different guys? No.
• Done it in a car? While driving down I-35...
• Cheated on someone? No
• Been cheated on? Yes
• Done something you regret? Yes

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

• You saw? JG
• You talked to? JG
• You hugged? JG
• You instant messaged? That has been so long ago that I can't remember.
• You yelled at? Champ
• You thought about? Poetroad
• Who text messaged you? CLA, and that was also a long time ago
• Who told you they loved you? JG
  
  

DO YOU?

• Color your hair? Highlights
• Have tattoos? No
• Have piercings? Yes, three in one ear, one in the other, and one in a nostril
• Have a crush? I have a long-standing Crush on Larry Mullen Jr. (going on 21 years)
• Own a webcam? Yes
• Own more than 10 pairs of flip flops? No, but that is my favored footwear
• Like someone? I like people in general
• Hate someone? No way - I don't have the time and energy to do that, although there are a few people that I've disliked a lot for short periods of time - but I got over it.

HAVE YOU / DO YOU /ARE YOU

• Smoke? I am not smoke.
• Schizophrenic? No, I am notyesyouarenoImnotyesyouare
• Obsessive? Definitely

HAVE YOU EVER?

• Kissed your dog: Yes
• Ran away: In my mind
• Skipped school: Lots - sometimes I was the teacher
• Broken someone's heart: Several, but not intentionally
• Been in love: I am right now
• Cried when someone died: Yes
• Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: Well, I thought I couldn't have him at first, but it turns out I could. So I married him.
• Done something embarrassing: Every day
• Cried in school: Yes, and once I was the teacher.

Nine out of Ten

I'm not married to "Man o' the 80s" for nothing.

Complete the 80s lyrics!

I got 90%.. click here to take the test.