Triple Threat

I don’t know what was going on yesterday in the cosmosphere, but things were strange to quite strange around here.

It all fell apart when I came home from work with kids in tow to find that our dog was at the front door to greet us. And there was a nice collection of miscellaneous people belongings at the base of the stairs. Champ is only five months old, so when we leave the house, we put him in his oversized dog crate – which is also where he sleeps at night.

At first I thought, “Crap, we didn’t shut the door to the crate all the way!” Upon closer inspection, the dog door was closed completely and the food dish was placed neatly inside the crate. Hmmm…we never put his food inside there – I was puzzled. Plus, there is no way Champ could break out of the crate and then securely refasten the door. I knew someone had been in our house.

After a quick inventory, I assessed that nothing was missing. “Who in the hell would come into our house and let out our dog but not take anything?!” I thought.

The mystery was solved when my four-year-old’s little friend stopped by at our back porch. I asked Cory if he had come to our house earlier that day. He said, “Yes, me and Jerry (his cousin) came over, but you weren’t home.”

“Oh, and how did you know that, Cory?”

“Because we looked all through your house, and you weren’t there. We even looked in the front yard, and you weren’t there either.”

“How did you get to our front yard?” I questioned.

“Through your front door.”

“Did I leave the back door unlocked?”

“Yes, and I helped Jerry let Champ out of his crate too.”

“Oh, well don’t ever do that again, okay Cory?”

I’ll be double-checking to make sure I’ve locked all of my doors the next time I leave the house.

Later on, while six kids were playing on our play structure, a huge chunk of a hornet’s next wiggled itself out of the play set. The constant swinging below seemed to jiggle that sucker loose. With all of those angry buggers swarming around the crime scene, I’m surprised to report that no one was stung.

But this last incident takes the cake. I’ve mentioned previously that I have this neighbor who is a very unhappy individual. He has it out for my nine-year-old daughter because she speaks her mind to his eight-year-old son. I’ve been on the receiving end of his intimidating confrontations more than once (so much so that Poetroad was ready to kick his ass last time, and I have strict orders to inform Bob that any problems he has with our kids must be deferred to Poetroad). Bob is a sad man for many reasons – which I won’t get in to presently. But he is much more sad now I’m sure after yesterday’s fiasco.

The houses on my side of the street are built on a hill, and our driveways have a considerable incline. Bob, however, parks his car in his garage. Nevertheless, he is positive that the car was in park with the emergency break was on.

Tell that to the people who live below him whose bay window is now a new access to their home. I guess the rear end of Bob’s car was completely in the house. There was shattered glass and wood everywhere, and Poetroad said that the leather furniture in that room is totaled as well due to the shards of glass puncturing the fabric. Thank the Lord that the kids were playing in the back room when all of this happened.

Apparently the damages could have been a lot worse though had the car not been slowed by the small tree and large rock in the neighbor below’s front yard. Also, had the car not veered off its original trajectory after it hit the curb on the other side of the street, Bob’s car would have careened into the neighbor’s garage and brand new Lexus GX.

So I guess things could have been worse. But this does explain why we found the Lexus parked in front of our house when I got home and the huge tarp that was covering the front of my neighbor’s house.